Tornadoes & Having the Sex Talk With Children Do Not Belong in the Same Day



In case you missed it, yesterday was fucking INSANE.  Yes, I used the f word, because if it was ever appropriate, it was yesterday.

I checked the weather like I always do and it seemed as though we were going to have bad weather mid day.  So, like an idiot, I got in the car at 8:45 and started going to pilates.

At 9:00, my phone started SCREAMING at me to take cover from a tornado.  Um, that escalated quickly from no rain at all.  And then, a 3 inch limb fell from a tree and hit my windshield.  I am genuinely surprised I lived long enough to make it home.

Y’all….I like to think I can handle the weather here.  I thought back to Hurricane Gustav, and I watched the whole thing unfold from the wall of windows at the back of our house.  Because that’s what we do, we’re idiots and like to ooh and ahh over the weather and specifically, hurricanes.  But clearly, no one here is prepared for a tornado with 111 mile per hour wind.  That shit is scary.

I pulled into the driveway and RAN to the bathroom and hung out in the tub with my dog, and then in the closet, while I shook uncontrollably in a dark house with no power.

As luck would have it, my husband was at the hospital, because that’s ALWAYS where he is during a storm.  I realized that yesterday, too, that he and I have never been through a storm in the same house over the course of eleven years, so if that ever happens, expect a story to come out of that.  Thank God text messages were going through and we could communicate, and we knew each other were safe.

Apparently, I think I’m WonderWoman, because we had a leak in the library, dripping through the pot light, and I moved all of the furniture.  Then, because I’m a nice neighbor, and didn’t want any of our crap from the yard flying and hitting someone else’s window, I brought in all of the patio furniture into the kitchen.

The school lost power and water, so I went to pick up the boys.  They handled the mess like champs, and frankly, that kind of blew my mind.

The silver lining of yesterday was crawfish.  Even when you lose power, you still have propane and that’s all you need for a boil.  About twenty people gathered at my in-laws while it hailed outside and ate three sacks of crawfish.  And it was delicious.

At the end of the day, I was tired.  So tired.  I went to tuck the boys into bed, and it started out innocently enough.  Radcliffe and I had such a sweet moment, and then he touched the bump on my nose and said, “I thought you were going to get that fixed.”

No words.

Then, I tuck in Theodore, and this is the moment he decides is the best time to ask about sex.  Of course, we talk, because I always want him to hear it from us, and we’ve been having the open dialogues back and forth, but I was tired.  From hanging out in a tub and moving a shit ton of furniture with no power while soaking wet. But, we talked, and I am glad we did, but shit, this week is hard AND IT’S ONLY TUESDAY, PEOPLE.

The photo attached is when a literal tornado came through.  No judgements on the mess, please.

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