Girls Don’t Fart

This post is going to be the most embarrassing thing I could ever write, but it was so funny, I had to tell ya’ll about it.

For the last few weeks, Radcliffe kept getting angry with me about telling him that boys and girls are equal. This is how the conversation would usually go:

Radcliffe: ‘Why do you keep saying that boys and girls are equal?’
Me: ‘Because they are. Anything a boy can do, so can girls. Except that girls can grow babies.’
Radcliffe: ‘I just don’t believe you that they are equal!’

I have struggled internally about these conversations and wondered where I went wrong. Most of my thoughts went something like this: ‘How did I end up raising a child that doesn’t believe in equality? How can I change his mind?’ I was so upset about this and was already worrying about raising an asshole and the ramifications of his thoughts ten years from now.

Then, the conversation came up again while waiting for the bus. With tears in his eyes, he asked me: ‘Mom, why do you keep telling me that boys and girls are equal.’

Patiently, I asked him why he thought that they weren’t.

His response: ‘Because they aren’t the same. Only boys fart, and girls don’t fart.’

Seriously? I’m having an internal crisis over here, kid, and that’s your thought process? Okay, then. But it gets better.

Later, I’m standing in the kitchen and I was standing at the sink, with my back to the rest of the room. I thought I was alone, and before I knew it, I farted. (Yes, I am SO embarrassed about this!) I turned around, and Radcliffe was standing behind me. His face was full of shock and disappointment. I started to laugh uncontrollably.

Radcliffe: ‘WHY? Just WHY? Explain yourself!’
Then, he comes over and spanks my butt and says ‘bad butt!’
Me: cannot stop laughing
Radcliffe: ‘I am so disappointed.’

Then, he walked off and didn’t talk to me for several hours.

However, I think I proved my point: Girls and boys ARE equal.

5 thoughts on “Girls Don’t Fart

  1. i think thats funny my cousin would tell us when we were younger u no she was a cheerleander and all so she would say i dont fart i toot i dont shit i poop id say b#$^h u fart and shit

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