Mortified

I took the boys with me to this hole in the wall Mexican restaurant near our beach house. It was fully seated and we were stuck at a table smack in the middle of the restaurant– prime setup for Radcliffe to embarrass me.

As I’m reading the menu, Radcliffe stands up in his chair and screams, “Is f***ing a bad word?” You could hear a pin drop and I had to pick up my jaw from the floor. As I frantically try to get him to sit down, he starts to belt out the theme song from Cheers, which we don’t watch, so I have no idea where on earth he knows it from.

He sits down and and starts to make fart noises and yells, “Just call me an old man because I fart like one!” Thank goodness the elderly man next to us started laughing. Then, he says to me, “Okay, mom, I’m going to pretend like I’m late for an important lunch,” proceeds to tap his invisible watch on his arm, and says, “I must go!”

I asked him where we were going and he said, “To the beach: it’s the supernova golden power of our ancestors!”

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5 thoughts on “Mortified

  1. He has the wildest imagination and is so brave lol… i was laughing so hard Audrey. How you keep yourself together in public when he does that is beyond me. I would be beyond mad but he’s so dang smart it’s almost hysterical

  2. Love it! Very sorry his impromptu speeches are embarrassing, but his “Rexisms” you post are really hilarious. I agree with him about the beach, by the way. I was kind of thinking the same thing our last evening there last week. Watching the sunset, with my behind parked in the sand, I thought about all of the people throughout the years that had looked out at the same ocean. Rex just put it a little more eloquently than I did!

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